Her Baba

It has been a gradual process, but The Pumpkin has been self-weaning for the last few weeks. I think it began with my milk going away at the beginning of my second trimester, gearing up to make colostrum. Prior to that we had a battle going on, I honestly didn’t want to continue breastfeeding her, she went through a period where she would nurse a lot night (only once or twice throughout the day) and it scared me, thinking it would go on when I got bigger and more uncomfortable in bed, but I knew it best to let her work it out on her own timing. It magically started happening on its own. She started asking for babas (bottles), she gets them before her nap at Nana’s house when I work. As she started letting go of nursing, she became more attached to her coconut milk babas.

It’s a bittersweet time, she will be two years old in two months, and she is losing her baby-ness more and more everyday. I wanted to capture this special milestone in both of our lives together with her beloved baba. I’m tearing up just thinking about our special bond we had for almost two years, she still asks for it at night for comfort, but quickly switches to her baba.

I will miss her wandering hand as she nursed, tugging at my hair, squeezing my nose. I will miss those big, piercing eyes staring at me. I will miss her crazy, moving legs that I would try to get still without success.

For a tiny moment, I try to get time to stay still…


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