Separation Anxiety

Wednesday was the first day that I was away from our little Bubalubu for longer than a couple hours. I have mentioned before that I had been bringing her to work with me, but Wednesday she spent whole the day with Nana. I’m helping The Man on Wednesdays and it’s a little tougher to bring her along at a restaurant.

I cried. Not just because I was leaving her, but because I re-lived the first time I had to do it with The Bundle as well. I cried to relieve three years of hoping, praying and wishing of being home full-time with my children. I cried because things are just so tight right now, we are being forced to make some radical decisions for our family. I cried because my stress tank was filled to the top, so things had to spill.

I called my mom during the day to see how things were going, The Pumpkin had only taken a bottle three times before Wednesday and they weren’t full “meals”. Nana told me The Pumpkin would not take the bottle and had cried for quite a while before calming down. That also added to my stress cup. By the time we went to pick the girls up, The Pumpkin had only drank about an ounce of breastmilk the whole day. She made up for it that evening, though, she would not stop eating, or spitting it back up.

Then we had to do it all over again on Thursday, because the regular waitress couldn’t make it that day, so I had to go in. The Pumpkin did better with the bottles, and so did I with my separation anxiety.

I spent a nice, relaxing, quiet day with my babies today. Even had an afternoon trip to the park. I’m off to cuddle in bed with them!

I leave you with a picture, to end on a more cheerful note. It’s of The Pumpkin, on that golden afternoon.


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