I think the dust is finally settling down. We have gone over the newborn hurdle and are finally feeling like it all fits together. We are a family of four, and it feels good. Yes, there are still “bad days” of adjusting to our new life, as parents of two, as a big sister, when The Bundle tells me “put her in the swing, I want youuuu” or “hold me, hold meee”. Yes, bad days, when my house is a complete mess, dishes piled in the sink, carpet covered in crumbs, clean clothes needing to be folded and put away.
Sometimes there are really bad days, when I’m tired of The Bundle’s whining, when The Pumpkin needs to be in a wrap to get any sleep, when all I want is a few minutes to myself. I admit to talking to The Bundle too harshly, and I’m trying to work on that. She is helping me, too, by reminding me, “Are you happy, mom?” and immediately my heart warms up and cannot respond with anything other than a “Yes, I am happy.”
Sometimes I also miss the days when it was just me and The Bundle during the day. I miss our routine, our time alone together. The days when having another baby was just a romantic expectation of the future. But as I sit here and type these words, with a cuddly chunky baby, sleeping soundly on my chest, the world feels right. Just like it should be. I feel blessed beyond measure and realize that it takes time to get used to a new life, but none to enjoy it.
So The Bundle’s whining may just be an expression of getting used to this new change and who cares if my house looks like a hurracaine went through it, when I look at these beautiful images of sisters bonding, all I feel is love. And those “bad days” are erased from my memory.
The dust is finally settling down, and I cannot wait to look at our new life more clearly.